Walls protect our egos, the person we want to believe that we are, not our hearts. Yes its true, guarded people have huge egos. Brick by brick you have to start to dismantle those barriers and start living and dating. So how do you break down your walls and begin to date freely?.
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We get weirder the longer you know us. When you see us talk in weird voices, laugh uncontrollably at the dumbest things, or flip out over the tiniest bit of news on Season 4 of Sherlockcongrats. Our best friends are extremely protective of us. We like it when you open up to us. If you build a safe, open environment, we will come. We want to open up to you, and we will. Instigating affection is tough for us.
R and I were having a conversation on the hike down from Runyon Canyon about the way I used to approach dating prior to our meeting. I was saying that a guarded girl is guarded for a very specific reason, at least I know I was. Yes, that is a giant disclaimer. But what may seem like a personality type or act is actually more like a defense mechanism used to protect against getting hurt. The best way to explain it is to explain how the whole guarded game works using the example of giving and receiving affection in a new relationship — a real trouble zone for any guarded person.
The people we fall in love with attain an authority something like that of a sniper. They can attack at any time, without warning or the alarming sound of their approaching footsteps. You just stand there with a blissful smile and ignorant sense of safety. Your guard is down, your heart is open.
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Thank you for printing our article. Explore Lifehack for similar articles to help you improve your life. A guarded heart is one that has been through one traumatic experience after another, leaving a person unable to open up to new friends and loved ones easily. Those of us with guarded hearts are often incredibly caring individuals who have been hurt in the past and, because of this, will do their best to keep their shields up around most people. If you find yourself dating someone with a guarded heart, understand that:.
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Those in the latter group have often experienced hurt — in some form — at the hands of someone who promised the world only to deliver nothing of the sort. The ability to trust someone else and confidence in their own self-trust. If your computer was hacked, what would you do. In the same albeit, more humanistic way, those whose trust has been violated secure and safeguard their emotions. Similarly, someone whose trust has been abused instinctively begin to fortify a defensive position.